The Nut Graph Comments

Just read the Nut Graph’s August 14 article,”Internet Censorship” today and decided to give a comment in six words.

So here’s my comments:
My business is my own business.

Do something useful for once okay?

Government rules, but not that way.

Help please,need my free Internet.

Revised Australian Press Releases

There are two Australian press releases that I am  reviewing  and  improving.

The first on is titled, “Swimming still most popular sport for kids: ABS”. The press release can be improved by:

What the press release should do is:
>Interview relevant sources for the article such as psychologists, parents, children, sports coaches,etc

>Do a little bit more research from archives, library, the Internet

>Study the trends from the past few years in Australia

How to do the press release:

>Contact local psychologists, parents, children, sports coaches,etc

>Go to the archives to gain records

A news paragraph for the story:

SYDNEY: Around 19% of Australian children prefer swimming to other sports, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS).

The second press release is titled, “Australian Broadband connections soar to 4.3 million: ABS”

What the press release should do is:
>Quote a figure for the introduction

>State the reasons why the broadband penetration is rising, is it due to the broadband providers in Australia?

>Capture the response of Australian, officials, and Internet clubs

>What the impact of a higher broadband penetration will do to Australia in terms of economy, communication, etc

>Do a detailed comparison between all of Australia

How to do the press release:

>Should get the related documents concerning the previous years broadband penetration

>Contact broadband providers, Internet clubs, Government officials, and ordinary users

>Do research with other more broadband-advanced countries than Australia, compare data

This is the feature intorduction paragraph of the second press release:

Broadband Internet, an essential tool in today’s Australia.It is used for all sorts of purposes from communicating, information-searching, and entertainment. In the years 2007/2008, there were 800,000 Australian households which signed up for this service, as provided by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.