The Nut Graph Comments

Just read the Nut Graph’s August 14 article,”Internet Censorship” today and decided to give a comment in six words.

So here’s my comments:
My business is my own business.

Do something useful for once okay?

Government rules, but not that way.

Help please,need my free Internet.

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Revised Australian Press Releases

There are two Australian press releases that I am  reviewing  and  improving.

The first on is titled, “Swimming still most popular sport for kids: ABS”. The press release can be improved by:

What the press release should do is:
>Interview relevant sources for the article such as psychologists, parents, children, sports coaches,etc

>Do a little bit more research from archives, library, the Internet

>Study the trends from the past few years in Australia

How to do the press release:

>Contact local psychologists, parents, children, sports coaches,etc

>Go to the archives to gain records

A news paragraph for the story:

SYDNEY: Around 19% of Australian children prefer swimming to other sports, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS).

The second press release is titled, “Australian Broadband connections soar to 4.3 million: ABS”

What the press release should do is:
>Quote a figure for the introduction

>State the reasons why the broadband penetration is rising, is it due to the broadband providers in Australia?

>Capture the response of Australian, officials, and Internet clubs

>What the impact of a higher broadband penetration will do to Australia in terms of economy, communication, etc

>Do a detailed comparison between all of Australia

How to do the press release:

>Should get the related documents concerning the previous years broadband penetration

>Contact broadband providers, Internet clubs, Government officials, and ordinary users

>Do research with other more broadband-advanced countries than Australia, compare data

This is the feature intorduction paragraph of the second press release:

Broadband Internet, an essential tool in today’s Australia.It is used for all sorts of purposes from communicating, information-searching, and entertainment. In the years 2007/2008, there were 800,000 Australian households which signed up for this service, as provided by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.